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What Kind Of Condom Would Einstein Have Worn?

Posted on January 17, 2013 by LUCKY BLOKE
Condoms aren't just smart, they're fun and sexy, too!

The Research and Development department here at Lucky Bloke had a few moments to spare and decided to have some fun composing a list of key historical figures and what condoms they would have preferred if they'd been available during their time in history. The results are sure to entertain you.

Cleopatra. While the trendsetting Queen of the Nile was probably stuck with slave-made precursors of Trojan's NaturaLamb, in our age, we're certain she would enjoy ONE's Tantric Pleasures — a condom that's truly innovative and feels great inside and out! Tantric Pleasures, the first condom in the world created with tattoo-inspired texture for increased pleasure and an easy-rolling flared shape for added comfort, offers three tattoo-inspired designs. Considering her penchant for Greek lovers, Cleopatra's favorite would be Titan, of course!

Gandhi. The inspired activist Gandhi would immediately embrace the unparalleled, cruelty-free, socially engaged, fair trade condoms of GLYDE. GLYDE, the world's only certified Ethical and Vegan condom, is ultra-thin and comfortable, maximizing sensation for both partners without compromising strength and reliability. And, GLYDE is available in all three sizes (slimfit, ultra, and maxi), ideal for any modest revolutionary. (C'mon, who really knows what size Gandhi was under his dhoti?)

Queen Elizabeth I. Beautifully portrayed by Cate Blanchett, QE1 embodies the sexy, independent, powerful woman! Perhaps, she would prefer the FC2 Female condom, perfect no matter the size of her lover(s) ... or perhaps a Crown Skinless Skin — for who could pass up ultimate sensation and pleasure in combination with such a royal title?! 

Genghis Khan. History and legend indicate the Great Khan clearly preferred sowing his seed, back in the day. Due to hordes of STIs and something called child support, we warmly recommend Billy Boy's Special Power to the Mongolian Emperor. This condom is built thicker for an extra layer of protection. In action, the extra strength of Special Power stands up to added friction and tension — providing greater reliability when things get rough, no matter what his (or your) adventure.

Marie Antoinette. The jury is still out on whether Marie Antoinette actually declared "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche." (or "Let them eat cake!"). However, we are quite certain that a woman known for decadence and great taste ... would never pass up on any of ONE's Flavor Waves. With options like Chocolate Strawberry, who could blame her?! Let them eat chocolate strawberries, indeed!

Ben Franklin. Well, given the whole key / kite / lightning / inventor thing ... we are certain Ben Franklin would prefer a condom that's at the very least ... more "stimulating." Thoughts of pleasure abound. So of course, we'd first suggest Lifestyles' Pleasure Shaped. (And then, if size warranted a different approach, Lifestyles 3Sum ... Yes, rumor has it, Ben was popular like that.)

Madame Curie. Bringing light to the mysteries of radioactivity, scientist Madame Curie became famous for her pioneering research in the field and was the first person honored with two Nobel Prizes (in physics and chemistry). This is a no-brainer ... surely Madame Curie would have enjoyed Glowing Pleasures (glow-in-the-dark) condoms! 

Napoleon. Okay, jokes aside, we all realize that Napoleon would need to compensate and only buy TROJAN Magnums (which would surely have included Magnum Thin and Magnum Ecstasy) ... however, due to his expensive European tastes he would have actually preferred RFSU's Okeido (larger fit) even if he truly required RFSU's Mamba (snugger fit).

Albert Einstein. While Einstein's brain has often been the subject of research and speculation, he was a man first. And, well, even theoretical physicists need some personal time. Naturally, experiments are carried out to measure the thinnest condoms available. Durex Avanti Bare, TROJAN Bareskin, Kimono Microthin, and Lifestyles THYN are all strong contenders, yet it's relatively likely that Okamoto's 004 (brand new to the US market) would get Einstein's vote.

Shakespeare. Poet. Bard. Wordsmith. Romantic. It goes without saying that Lucky Bloke's Ultimate Condom Sampler would be required for Shakespeare's "many plays"... Yes, Lucky Bloke brings you the perfect introduction to the very best latex condoms available. Our LB: Condom Sampler offers a fab range of premium condom styles — pleasure-shaped, ultrathin, ribbed, studded — for you to try. The Sampler lets you explore condoms that include six best-sellers from brands like Kimono, Crown, GLYDE, Billy Boy, Durex, Lifestyles, RFSU, ONE, or Trojan. Do note: Order additional 6-packs for even greater variety.

Lucky Bloke offers the ultimate assortment of the best international condoms and lube. Whether you're a condom novice or expert, we have an amazing special just for you! Lucky Bloke also offers monthly subscription as well as one-time purchase options, fulfilled via discreet, affordable (actually, free) international delivery.

The best part about Lucky Bloke (besides our incredible selection of hand-selected premium condoms & lube…and free international shipping)?! We donate 10% of every sale to the humanitarian cause of YOUR choice. Current choices include charity: water, UNICEF, and the It Gets Better Project. It's the ultimate win-win: Have more Sex & Save the World!

Whatever your adventure — we've got you covered!


{Want a condom sampler that will blow your mind? Head on over to theCondomReview.com - we've created 10 condom samplers featuring the top-rated condoms from our recent Global Condom Review. 1100 Participants in 21 countries! Curious about lube? We've got an amazing lube sampler, too!}

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